"How can I stay focused and centered in an unbearable workplace?" was a question sent to me recently. This is how I replied:

First, it's interesting that you said the workplace is unbearable, rather than saying that you are having problems with a boss or co-worker. If this is the case, have you pinned down the reasons the workplace is unbearable? A couple of things come to mind:

• Perhaps the values of your workplace are in conflict with your own values and your soul is crying out. If this is the case, you can look at ways to impact or even transform your workplace, or if that is clearly not feasible, you can look for work that is more in keeping with your values. Leaving for such a reason is not a cop-out or giving up. You aren't called to change the whole world by yourself, so ask God to show you whether or not you have a specific purpose there or should move on. Not wanting to be a quitter, I nevertheless had an experience once where my meditations led me to understand that God was leading me out of that particular job.

• Perhaps the career you selected -- if this is a career choice rather than an income maintenance job -- is no longer the one to which you are called. Sometimes you simply discover that FOR YOU, the time for that calling, that enthusiasm, that career, has passed and it is time for something else. A change of season, whether in the economy or in you, doesn't mean you made the wrong choice when you chose your first training and your first career. That may have been exactly right for you at that time.

Second, your question assumes that there is something you should be doing internally to change yourself. Many times we blame ourselves first and think that changing ourselves will change the outward situation. Sometimes that is true, but not always. If you genuinely believe it is, you might try this exercise:

• Say to yourself, "There is no one on earth that God loves more than God loves me!" Say it over and over and think about what it means to you. Maybe it will sink in quickly, but if it takes longer, repeat it throughout the day or every day.

• When you truly believe it, then expand that statement -- "There is no one on earth that God loves more than God loves [insert name of friend or family member]."

• Finally, try this one on for size: "There is no one on earth that God loves more than God loves [insert name of person with whom you are having difficulty]." Doing that changed my feelings about my boss. I still wanted and needed to leave that company and that job, but the insight softened my feelings in the meantime.

Third, how long has it been since you've had a vacation? How is your self care when you are not at work? Are you getting enough sleep? How is your health -- if you are a woman, is this a time when your hormones are playing tricks on you? When my hormones were askew, I would tend to feel enraged and lash out at people who reported to me. I consulted my physician and got medication that I could take sparingly, as needed, so that those people would not have to suffer for my mood swings.

Finally, do you set aside some time each morning for reading, meditating, and prayer? Such practices really are key to keeping all of us centered. Get up earlier to do that if necessary. If you need to learn new techniques for your spiritual disciplines, consult your pastor or other spiritual friend.