A cheating spouse thinks and lives on a completely different wavelength than the Victim. In most cases, to the cheater a "little" affair is thrilling, it's deserved and it's not a big deal. Of course the cheater would never consult you to confirm that. "It didn't mean anything," says the cheater many times as if you, the victim, should accept this qualifier as some sort of consolation. If you suspect your spouse is cheating, time is critical. You need evidence and you need it fast!

Scenario 1:

John Smith begins having an affair with the boss of his wife, Sally Smith. The Boss takes out and pays for a new insurance policy on Sally's life, because Sally is a key person. Sally or John signs the paperwork for his wife making the Boss beneficiary. The affair goes on for a year to no one's notice. Then into the second year Sally learns of the affair and the Cheater and the Boss slowly drive Sally to suicide. The 2 year elimination period for suicide on the policy has expired and the policy pays the Boss $1.0 M. It happens.

At $65-95/hr, hiring a private investigator can be expensive! However, fact is, many times the Victim knows in their gut that an affair is happening to them. And with some assistance, they can be very effective in gathering clues and confirming the affair of their own volition. They know their spouse is seeing someone; they just can't prove it. They don't know what to do. They don't have the investgative know-how or skills or tools or confidence. And more importantly, they don't know what NOT to do to preserve the prospect of building a case of infidelity. And even if the Victim does stumble onto some how-to PI tricks to gather some evidence, they often blow their chances to use it due to expoliation of evidence, interrupted Chain of Custody or some other legal technicality.

So, what can a manual like SnoopFile's Cheating Spouse Casebook do for a Victim of infidelity? Coaching. A victim spouse needs some sort of step by step assistance through the logical steps of "conducting their own" Investigation. The following are a few essential steps utilized by a trained private investigator:

1. Clarify the GOAL. Ninety percent of a Victim's heartache can be alleviated with a clear focus and adherance to an objective. If based on probable cause and probable outcomes, you opt for a frontal approach - a forthright talk with your spouse - then clarify the possible outcomes. Write them down. Realistically define a "successful talk". If you opt to investigate, then clarify your steps using a Investigator's Casebook, for the self-destructive nature of feelings will otherwise undermind your investigative efforts.

2. Quickly confirm - Is he cheating? An investigation is a systematic inquiry into the facts of an event or a person. A casebook can help you systematically get answers to your questions quickly, so you can begin plotting your course to resolution. You may have already accused your spouse. And he has discounted and brushed aside the charges leaving you hurt and still uncertain. SnoopFile's Casebook equips you with a guide through a step-by-step process of gathering clues and building a timeline. At the conclusion of this process, you will quickly confirm facts and have your PROBABLE CAUSE and reason to investigate further.

3. Confirmed. Now what? Once you have a collection of clues, then you have probable cause. Now, it's time to decide what course your will take. A naval ship-driver calls this a "biforcation". And a biforcation bouy gives you some idea of which track a pilot officer should take. You will not have any bouys except for your heart. You may need a coach to help guide you through a protocol of questions about your husband, yourself and your personal or economic situation. Having answered these questions, you will KNOW the logical or reasonable thing to do. And you will choose your track.

4. The Steps of Building a Case. Investigation is a very simple process, but it requires tools, a little discipline, and a few tricks. A manual like SnoopFile's will COACH you through the uncertainties based on investigative algorithms, experience tools and knowledge of human nature. Sometimes in such an ordeal, we simply need EMPOWERMENT with tools for gathering evidence, PI tricks of the trade to outsmart and stay ahead of a possible Cheater.

5. The Law and Privacy Rules. Every investigation should be carried out in a manner, such that its findings and evidence are acceptable in a court of law. And that case evidence will be direct and subtantive (prima facia = able to stand on its own) evidence, rather than indirect or circumstantial. Don't worry. There are only a few simple concepts you must understand as you investigate. There are a few Privacy Rules and Rules of Law pertaining to investigation which we will show you to help ensure your investigation is legal and your evidence is acceptable in a court of law - in case it ends up there. An investigations manual such as Snoopfile's Casebook would equip a Victim with "navigational" aids through these general concepts of the Law!

6. Rules of Evidence. First, you may be right about your suspicions, but there's not much a judge can do about your testimony without corroborating evidence. The fact that you saw them kiss with your own eyes will be predjudiced by your relationship to the Cheater. Likewise, there's nothing worse than obtaining that juicy piece evidence - a video clip, an incriminating email or a receipt - only to find out that you violated the Cheater's right to privacy. Violate Privacy Rights and I promise you any half-motivated attorney will have the evidence declared inadmissable. Or worse, you failed to control and properly handle the piece of evidence and so document it's Chain of Custody.

7. Where to Look for Evidence. A good Casebook like Snoopfile's discusses the WHAT and WHERE of evidence collecting in great detail. Now, as you uncover and examine some of these clues, it's important to be able to detach yourself from the relationship. This takes practice and a little redirection from time to time.

CAUTION!

People are arrogant creatures, myself included. We ask for advice only to discount it. We ask for help, only to skip over steps which we don't believe are important. Don't do this. Don't be arrogant. Steps in an investigation may seem simplistic or elementary, (Dear Watson). But this is where investigators go badly wrong. Step back! Being a good investigator is being disciplined - methodical. If you don't want to be that - then you get to pay $65/hour, $2,500 per week to hire a private investigator. Got your attention?

So, let's put on the Private Investigator hat. To whet your appetite, here's a short list:

INDICATORS

- dieting out of the blue; obvious weight loss

- poorly conditioned, yet now "pumping iron" all of a sudden

- mood changes accompanied by irritability

- happy to be alone or happy away from you

- large unexplained vehicle odometer reading changes

- (for more, refer to a good Cheating Spouse Casebook).