Perfect the fine art of the end run

From time to time, the path to your goals is going to run smack into someone else's version of reality, which they may not be happy to have you "play through."  In these cases, shift your direction of movement off-road and work around, rather than through, the problem.  There are two important points to remember when doing an end run:

Win-win is always better than win-lose, even if you have to work harder.  Burnt bridges can come back to haunt you later.

Creating your own version of reality, which is non-negotiable, is vital to a successful end run.

Example: You need a day off from your day job to make a goal-related trip or get some work done.  You can either ask "Can I have a day off?" (to which we can all guess the likely answer), or you can do an end run around their arguments and objections by simply stating "I've got to go out of town next month.  Which is better for you, Wednesdays or Thursdays?" This creates the new reality (you will be out of town one day next month), but leaves those in charge still feeling in charge (win-win) by getting to pick the best day for you to do so.  If they say that neither is good, then you counter with a set span of days by which you have to have this done ("I have to have this out of the way no later than the fifth") and let them deal with that. 

Similar end-run approaches to different goals are definitely achievable.  If you need a permit to open a business and the town council says that there are no such permits available, end-run solutions would include building outside the city limits or running a local campaign (backed by other city businesses) to change the laws.  An end run around a college that doesn't offer your preferred major would be to create an independent study course in that field or to use a distance-learning college to flesh out the core classes you're taking on campus.

Does this always work? Of course, nothing in life is ever guaranteed.  But with this new reality framework, your odds are way better than with simple "yes or no" questions, which have a base 50% chance of "no" right off the bat.  To be effective, you must instill your actions with a mature approach that puts you on the same level as the person you're talking to. 

Soni Pitts

Soni Pitts is a writer and personal life coach currently living in SE Missouri, US.

As a writer, Soni has two main goals. Her first goal is to use her innate copywriting abilities to rid the world of ambiguous, confusing and boring copy. Her second goal is to use her creative writing skills to make a living meeting cool people and doing cool things, then writing about it.

As a personal life coach, Soni works with people who have reached the point of epiphany (eg: "There's got to be more to life than this") rebuild sustainable lives and lifestyles that work for themselves and for the world around them.

She is also the Assistant Community Coach of the Social Capital and Networking Community of CoachVille, and volunteers on the board of her local Habitat for Humanity Affiliate.